Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Happiness

Happiness is a strange thing, in that everyone expects you to be happy and it is often very difficult to admit that you are depressed or unhappy with life. It is especially difficult if you have what most would consider 'everything' (i.e a lovely girlfriend, enough money, independence etc). But alas here I am, saying to the world that I am depressed, or rather coming to terms with this. 

See, in September I went to the doctors and mentioned my moods have been strange, feeling a bit more down than usual you know what I had, at that time, considered the usual, the doctor screened me for depression and there I am, getting told I'm depressed and being prescribed anti depressants which was, to me, the weirdest thing ever at the time. Okay, I had my fallings, I'd just dropped out of university essentially branding myself a failure in the eyes of everyone else, just moved out of a hostile living environment but I just thought, no I can't be, there's too much good in my life right now, however, I am now aware that this can happen to people. 

I never considered myself depressed, I still avoid associating myself with it a bit but I feel like I'm getting closer to accepting that this is what I am right now in my life and hopefully with the help of counseling and the support from some wonderful friends and of course my family I'm hoping to beat it and somehow return to happiness again. I guess, what I'm trying to say with this blog post is I am starting to feel acceptance with my condition and with that acceptance I hope for recovery and once again happiness. Also, this is also to keep the few that read this up to date with whats going on in my life, yay!